Tuesday, 31 March 2015

B B Blues Take 3 - the Cost of pain

You may think the above sounds trite, a fortune cookie maxim, a christmas cracker aphorism.  you may be right...... you probably are right.   it doesn't make it any less pertinent though does it?   sometimes those sayings that deserve full on groanability  elicit that response simply because they point us to a Truth we don't want to acknowledge.   Truth is a slippery bugger,  he tries to inveigle his way past our carefully constructed irrationalities in order to make us face reality and, let's face it.........WHO WANTS TO FACE REALITY.......i certainly don't!!

So we create these clever little sayings and paste in a cute looking child or bunny rabbit or fluffy kitten, then overlay that with a soft focus and  a splash of colour, preferably pink, and hey presto......everybody smiles and goes home feeling so much better because they have been understood and had balm rubbed into their wounds.    only, it doesn't work that way does it?   uh oh.......here comes Truth again with his chin tucked into his collar, slyly slipping round the corner of your evasions, poking his nose where it isn't wanted, whispering words of........well, words of truth, and the truth is, sometimes life sucks, pain hurts, desolation is desolate, illness makes you sick, fatigue is exhausting, depression drains you of hope and death is death no matter how cloyingly you dress it up. 

Although i see a place for cheesy cheerfulness, after all existence would be very drab if we allowed Mr Truth to have his way all the time,  i think we need to balance it with a sensitivity to the true needs of others.   there are times when the kindest thing we can do is allow a friend to rant and rave or bawl and bellow.   tears can be healthily valid and to withhold them doesn't make the emotion go away, it simply sinks to the bottom of the psyche waiting to pop up again like some slimy kraken off the Norwegian coast trailing icy cold tendrils of dreadful memory exaggerated with the passing of time and unresolved guilt.  

So, my fellow humans, will you forgive me for the times i've substituted true understanding with a pallid replica in a flopsy bunny costume?   it was never my intent to fob you off with saccharine or candy coated compassion, your friendship is worth much more than that.    with a sensible mix of sentimentality and honesty  i think we can give Truth a run for his money.   what do you think? 

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