Monday, 20 April 2015

soul sister singletons


I think Val (a dear friend from my lost, long ago youth ) has made a good point in her comment to my last post.   Those who have lived solo for a long time become very self contained and learn to manage,  whatever difficulties come along,  by their own guile and cunning.    if the sky falls on my  head in the middle of the night there's nobody to prop up the firmament  except me or the cat, and he's no use in a crises, he thinks any sign of sentience in the dark equals food.

When the tax bill comes and the numbers make no sense  instead of running it past a partner i rely on good old Google and a calculator.    when the water pipes burst in the icy weather there was no muscle to call on, just W D 40 and my puny upper body strength to turn off the stopcock.   during the time  i've had so much pain and lack of movement the last month or so,  there's been nobody to rescue me from the hilarious process of  putting socks on when i can't reach my feet,  or help  getting  in and out of bed when the up/down process sends daggers racing up the back and down the legs, or rustle up pain killers at dawn when the last one has fallen down the back of a bedside table,  just my own inititive and bloody mindedness.

This is by no means a complaint or search for sympathy, quite the opposite in fact.    i actually think it's a good thing to have to learn resilience.    not the Bear Gryhls  (how do you spell that???)  making lunch out of hedgehog and roadkill and sleeping in an abandoned cesspit type of resilience, but the knowledge that whatever tomorrow asks of me i can survive it, hard as it might be.   

I don't think many singletons set out to spend life alone as a conscious choice.    i think we just drift along until one day we look back and wonder, "how did that happen?"   but i do think it is easier for us to face the future  alone than for those who find solohood thrust upon them unsought, unwanted, unloved.    for them  i can only offer this crumb of comfort, you are strong enough to face the darkness,  stronger than you know,  even though you don't always feel it, even though you definitely don't desire it. 

The human spirit is a powerful force and the will to live is hardwired into our very being.    nurture that force, be kind to yourself, call on your soul sisters and brothers when it all feels too hard and keep going.

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