Saturday, 12 September 2015

Indignity


My nonagenarian neighbour is struggling with the indignities of an aged body that has finally failed her.    this time last year she was still caring for her garden and occasionally taking a gentle walk into Hexham when in the mood.   early in the spring she fell during the night, spending hours alone on the floor, and hasn't been able to move much since........i know......i know.......why have an alarm system and not wear the call buzzer?.......too proud......too feisty......she wears it now......do the words horse......stable.....door come to mind?


Throughout the summer i've watched as little by little her independence has been stripped away and compromises made.    ready meals replacing cooked from scratch.......spotless home becoming the domain of dust and detritus.......garden overgrown.......hospital bed...... nurses......carers.....on and on, step by woebegone step.    and now the final humiliation........nappies !!

She isn't incontinent, never has been, but...........carers put her to bed at 7.00 pm and return in the morning at 10.00 am.    FIFTEEN HOURS !!! She's stranded half sitting up with pillows under feet and arms like a beached whale for fifteen hours, unable to move more than her forearms......that's ok then?......that's all you need to work the TV remote isn't it? and.......because fifteen hours is too long without a loo break she's been put into incontinence pads......even i, endowed    with a touch of the Blarney, am stumped for words.............





6 comments:

  1. How will they ever allow us dignity in dying if they wont allow us dignity while still alive?? so very sad X Val

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    1. what i found even more chilling was that when the carers expressed their concern, management who set the rotas couldn't see that there was a problem. several carers have spoken out now and it looks as though it will be addressed.

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  2. Aw i feel so sad for your poor lady. Its bad enough having to wear these pads when you are incontinent, but when you are more than capable it must be soul destroying. I always remember my late dad who was incontinent (through dementia) getting himself so upset and pleading with me not to put them on him as he said they were for babies....so so sad. Daisymay.

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    1. i can't imagine lying for 15 hours in the same horizontal position. she's in agony by the morning poor soul

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  3. Arh, fifteen hours is too long, and reading your blog just focuses attention on that detail and really its delect for 50% of someones day! Its a hard one to work out. If your were under nursing care somewhere the 15hrs wouldnt happen but stay at home with state provision of care that is what you get. Unless you are in a situation where you get the care money and buy in your own service and then get to decide what time you need your help.

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    1. Catch 22 the very elderly don't have the energy or mobility to find staff, sort wages, insurance, tax etc. And wouldn't be given enough to pay for 2 people twice daily

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