Thursday, 15 October 2015

The Grammatically Limited

Hello again.....
when i was encouraged to start a blog i wasn't convinced anybody would want to read it, and i certainly didn't think you would come back for more after your first perusal.   so.......hello again......and thank you for your encouragement and kindness to this random's comforting to know there are some humans out there who enjoy my ramblings.
Do you realise how fortunate we are in being able to write and to read what has been written?   Ooohh nooo, don't panic......jeni isn't having delusions of grandeur!  i'm meaning, the ability is a gift not to be under-estimated.   according to the National Literacy Trust around 16% of adults in England have literacy levels below that of an 11 year old.    as someone who is functionally, grammatically limited i have great empathy for those who don't write because they feel they can't.

Our education system has always been myopic in it's quest for "correct" expression, whether that's spelling, structure, grammar,  at the expense of imagination and innovation.    i wonder how many of you who say "i don't know how to write", actually mean, "i don't know how to write in a form that is conventionally acceptable", or "i don't know how to spell" or were solemnly informed at school  "that's all wrong, it's rubbish" after pouring out your thoughts and feelings onto an intimidatingly pristine lined sheet.
As a friendless young teen i would spend long hours alone inhabiting a fantasy world where i would write tales for an imaginary audience, becoming the protagonist in a life i wished were mine.   usually it was a life richer, warmer, funnier and with good company.    socially i was inept but in this dream world i could go wherever i wanted, whenever i wanted, with whoever i age 13 it was Davy Jones of The Monkees.......hey......i was young.....with poor taste..... i saw the error of my ways  !!
From those early escapist adventures grew an intermittent, lifelong love affair with the written word manifesting in long chatty letters, journal keeping, poetry, and now this humble blog.   

When life has thrown it's crap at me i have stayed sane by manic, free association scratchings on any scrap of paper that strayed within pen reach.  during calm, mellow times i have written, and discarded, sentimental musings of saccharine sweetness.   very occasionally there's been a glimpse of literary potential, never followed up.    

Sadly my childhood dream of being a journalist was dunked in cold water and drowned at conception by a careers adviser who "advised" me that i actually wanted to be a shorthand i didn't.....i hated it......dropped out and became a traveller.....didn't re-discover my desired career till becoming a bookseller in my 40's.
So......don't assume you lack the spark of creativity with your words.  it could simply be that you haven't yet started writing for your own, rather than other people's acceptance.  nobody needs to see your jottings.....if they don't see they can't judge.....can they ?   next time you find yourself weighed down with sorrow, anger, regret, or lifted up by joy.....go grab that pencil and make marks on might surprise yourself.......


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