Monday, 12 February 2018

Profit And Loss

In the middle of a conversation with a friend about coping with change, my mind went on a wander, roamed into the fiscal realm and decided to take  a walk on the allegorical side.   perhaps my bizniz alter ego took charge for a moment firing synapses that linked the acceptance of change to a profit and loss formula.   reducing emotions to the realm of practical finance helped remove the sting inherent in considering personal adjustments and enabled me to focus not on the "loss" but on the "profit".

Life consists of a continuous cycle, gaining and losing, losing and gaining, joy to sorrow, grief to celebration, a child is born a grandparent dies, round and round and round, nothing stays the same the only consistency is inconsistency.   as a wise man once put it "there is a time for everything under heaven: a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."   perhaps, once we grasp that nothing is forever, we can find a certain equilibrium, an acceptance of whatever comes our way.
When my sons grew out of childhood and began emotionally moving away it felt as though i had lost an essential part of myself, my sense of purpose and identity went AWOL for a while.   i feared i would lose them, and i did.... in that incarnation.  but what i gained was far more precious in many ways.  we became equals and they CHOSE to be a part of my universe, everything was given freely, adult to adult not imposed by dependency.  i lost my babies but gained two wonderful, independent friends, and daughters in law, and granddaughters, and in them and their love i refound myself.   a nett gain in the Great Balance Sheet of life.  
More recently the move from Lindisfarne to Hexham was a huge heart wrench there was so much that had to be left behind.   Being a Bournemouth girl the sea is embedded in my DNA, the cry of the gulls a lullaby, the salt tang a taste of home, big wide open skies a gift from God to keep humanity humble.   being landlocked once again has reopened the void that island living filled for a decade, feet are now firmly planted on the ground,  water walking a luxury of the past.   

Another huge miss are the coffee shops, little oases where for a while i could escape the confines of home and surreptitiously peep from behind The Guardian, being the only socialist on the block, and see the comings and goings of my neighbours and tourists as i slurped an Americano by a log fire.   the blessing of having a cafe in the back garden all gone and listed as a loss in The Ledger Of Life but offset by other factors such as the ease for my children reaching me now there are no causeway tide times, the security of living in a fully fitted for disability flat, doctors and hospital on the corner.   The audit sheet balances as it always does if we chose to seek the profit and set aside the loss.


Anonymous said...

Just so you know I’m here..Val xx

brokenbutstillstanding62 said...

hello lovely lady, glad you is there. I is here and for you always will be. J xxx